Digging Deeper

 “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.  And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.                                                         Colossians 3:16-18 (NIV)

I was checking with my children on the balances of their lunch accounts.  My daughter still had enough for the remainder of the week, but my son stated he didn’t have any left.   Upset because I had given both of them the same amounts, I asked my son “how could you have blown through all that money so quickly?  You know we’re on a tight budget as it is and you needed to make it last.” 

My son looked at me and said “I know, but one of my friends hadn’t eaten in a couple days so I bought his lunch a few times.  I didn’t think you would mind because we’ve done it before.  I’m sorry.”  I was humbled because my son was practicing the art of giving and I had scolded him for doing it.  (We did work out an arrangement should this type of situation present itself again that will work well with both our budget and his giving spirit.)

When the topic of giving comes up, there is always a mixed reaction.  People have varying views on the who, what, where, when, and how’s of giving.  Some follow God’s design; others do not, which provides us with a galley of different types of givers.  Can you find where you fall?

THE BOASTFUL GIVER
You have those who loudly proclaim about all they have given and who they have given it to and all the good that will come from it.  Celebrities are infamous for this type of giving.  I’m sure their arms are pretty tired from patting themselves on the back.  Matthew 6:1-4 admonishes us to “Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them.  If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. … But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing so that your giving may be in secret.”  Giving to others should not be confused with self-promotion.

THE RELUCTANT GIVER
These are the people who give infrequently or just enough so they can ease their conscience.  They are under the mistaken belief that they need to hold on tightly to all they have in order to stay ahead of the game.  They still view all the money in their possession as theirs and not God’s.  A reminder that everything belongs to God comes from Psalm 24:1 ”The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof…”  We are to be stewards of God’s provisions, not hoarders.

THE BABY GIVER
People who are just getting their feet wet with the art of giving fall into this category.  And so do those who are suffering financial pains brought on by life (job loss, death of a spouse, bankruptcy, divorce, etc.).  They so want to be the cheerful giver of 2 Corinthians but still are not sure they can do so without causing discomfort in their lives.  God understands where these types of givers are and He asks that they trust Him.  In Malachi 3:10, God says “Bring the whole tithe in the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.  Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”   God says TEST ME on this one.  And believe me, He wouldn’t say test Him if He didn’t already know He’d be setting the curve!

THE SINCERE GIVER
These are the ones who understand giving makes us more Christ-like.  They submit their tithes and offerings in an unassuming manner and expect no fanfare.  The Sincere Giver gets that giving makes you less selfish and is considered part of our praise and worship.  They practice what is urged in 2 Corinthians 8:7 “…just as you excel in everything – in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love…– see that you also excel in this grace of giving.”   They are not always the most financially set people nor are they the most visible.  But they are the ones who have learned “YOU CAN’T OUTGIVE GOD!”

So where do you fall right now?  Are you ready to make a change?  Just remember…you never know who is watching and learning from you as you open your heart when giving.

Heavenly Father, let us never cease to sing Your praises as the God of the universe.  Show us where we need to grow in the art giving and help us to learn to trust in You in not only our financial situations but in all areas of our lives.  In Your Heavenly Name we pray. Amen.

Suggested Reading:  Financial Relief for Single Parents by Brenda Armstrong, Money and Marriage – God’s Way by Howard Dayton, Your Money After the Big 5-0 by Larry Burkett and Ron Blue, Free and Clear by Howard Dayton, Making Ends Meet by Larry Burkett (with Brenda Armstrong),  Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

Suggested Websites:  crown.org, daveramsey.com

Sonja Neal

“Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:20-21 (NIV)

Change.  For most it is a scary and foreign concept.  “We’ve always done it this way” is a typical response when the subject is brought up.  Although changing just for change’s sake is not a good idea neither is keeping the status quo if it is not working.  There’s an old saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. 

Ask yourself these questions: Are MY financial plans getting me where I need or want to be?  Am I living from paycheck to paycheck?  If either I or my spouse lost our jobs, how long would it take before we would be in dire straits?  Do I carry any personal debt on a credit card?  Do I have a car or truck that I am “upside down” on?  Do I have an updated budget I am working on?  Do I spend time worrying about what other people think about my financial situation?

Let me ask one more hard question which requires an honest answer.  Are you truly including God in all YOUR plans for YOUR money?  Not a quick “God please bless the endeavor I am starting on” or “God I need to have ______.  Please help me get it”, but actual prayerful acknowledgment God is in control then listening for His leading?

If you are not, then it is time for change.  Proverbs 16:1-3 states “To man belongs the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue. All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Changing your state of mind regarding your financial plans is the first step in getting control of your money. 

Here are some more questions for you to answer:  Do I want to be ready for emergencies?  Do I want to beat debt?  Do I want to be prepared financially if either me or my spouse lose our jobs?  Do I want to be able to have money invested for my retirement?  Do I want to be able to fund my children’s college education?  Would I like to be able to pay off my home early?  Am I ready to build wealth and be able to give?  Am I willing to do what it takes today in order to win tomorrow?  Am I ready to “live like no one else, so later I can live like no one else”?

If you answered yes to any or all of those questions, then you need to seriously consider taking Financial Peace University (FPU).  This proven program, created by Dave Ramsey, will help you learn how to save, budget, pay off debt, invest, fund your children’s college, pay off your home, build wealth, and give.  The methods taught are proven to work.   Proverbs 15:22 reminds us “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”  What better place to get advisers than a course with people who have been or still are in your shoes.

If you are ready to explore a new plan then “May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed” (Psalm 20:4).

Father God, You are in control of all the heavens and earth.  How secure we should feel knowing that You will provide the outcome in any situation the will best fit Your plans for our lives.  Help us to submit to Your ultimate authority in order to see those plans played out.  In Your Heavenly Name we pray.  Amen. 

Suggested Reading:  Proverbs 16, Isaiah 29:14-16,

Suggested Websites:  crown.org, daveramsey.com

Sonja Neal

 “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.  For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.   You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.”                                                         James 1:22-24 (New Living Translation)

One day, when I was growing up, my little sisters (who are twins) could not be found.  We looked high and low to no avail.  Then suddenly, my mom heard giggling coming from behind the cupboard doors.  When she opened the doors, there were my sisters – covered in chocolate icing!  My mother gave them the look and said very sternly “And who did this?”  Both of them looked up, so innocent, and said “Not me”.

Denial is an interesting word with a more than one meaning.  One definition is the refusal to recognize or acknowledge; the disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing.  This type of denial does not do one any good.  It does not change the reality of any situation it is used in.

For example, denying cigarettes are bad for your health does not change the damage done each time you light up.  Denying your children are growing up does not change the fact they will eventually leave home and begin life on their own.  Denying the stack of bills on your counter will not stop the creditors from calling.  Denying you have a cash flow problem will not help you meet your obligations.

Not taking a good look at and getting control over our finances opens the door for many troubles.  Calls from debt collectors, letters threatening lawsuits or wage garnishment, bounced checks, overdraft and late fees are all part of the problem of denial when it comes to money.  Habakkuk 2:7 warns “Will not your creditors rise up suddenly, and those who collect from you awaken?  Indeed, you will become plunder for them.”  With today’s economy, this passage rings true for way too many of our brothers and sisters.

There is a way to turn the situation around.  It is sitting down and taking a good honest look at your financial situation.  Once you get the snapshot of your finances, you need to develop a plan on how to get out of debt – AND THEN FOLLOW IT!  Financial Peace University is a great program that will help you define your situation and show you exactly what you need to do to get on track.

All week long, I’ve been touting Dave Ramsey’s FPU.  The reason I do this is because my husband and I are firm believers in this program.  We have been following the steps and are steadily climbing out of the debt pit.  We are not debt-free or have it down perfectly by any means, however, we have learned and are still learning the discipline it takes to control our money rather than letting our money control us.

This leads us full circle to the other type of denial.  The second definition is the sacrifice of one’s own wants or needs.  By following this description, you are taking steps in the right direction to secure your family’s future.  Self-denial goes hand in hand with self-discipline.  Though both may seem difficult to practice and learn, they will bring you many rewards as time goes by.

And maybe as one of your rewards, my sisters will share their chocolate icing!

Gracious Father, how magnificent and glorious You are.  You give choices of how to handle situations and are still with us even when our responses are not correct.  Provide us the wisdom to recognize the different forms of denial in our lives and choose to face each one head-on.  In Your Heavenly Name I pray.  Amen.

Suggested Reading:  Hebrews 12:11, Romans 13:8, Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

Suggested Websites:  crown.org, daveramsey.com

Sonja Neal

“Who has preceded Me, that I should pay him?  Everything under heaven is Mine.”                         Job 41:11 (New King James Version)

Mine, mine, mine!  We’ve all heard the cries of a toddler yelling those words when they didn’t want to share.  It didn’t matter if the object truly was theirs.  In their minds, they had it or wanted it so, therefore, it belonged to them.  Unfortunately, the same could be said of some adults as well.

All too often in today’s society, you hear others bragging of everything they have obtained – fame, fortune, personal possessions – all by themselves.  They love to tell stories of their journey to the top and how they made it there – with no one’s help.  These people, whether they be famous or ordinary folk, may be living it up for the moment but eventually the truth will catch up to them. 

The truth is no one has any more or less than what God has deemed necessary for them.  Acts 17:25 reminds us “…because He Himself gives all men life and breath and everything else.”   He knows better than anyone our needs, wants, and desires.  And He provides for them in due time.

Although God is loving and the ultimate provider, He does require us to be good stewards of all He has entrusted to us.  This spills over into all aspects of our lives but especially holds true in the area of money.  Being responsible with money is a discipline we all need to aspire to attain. 

Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (FPU) is a 13-week program that helps people get control of their money, and learn new behaviors by teaching commitment and accountability.  This program, using Biblical principles, has helped numerous people become better stewards of their money. In his book, Financial Peace Revisited, a companion to the FPU workbook, Dave offers “Peace Puppies”, short sentences to grab attention, to help students think about fiscal responsibility in a different light.  Here are a few to get you started:

1)     You must keep your checkbook on a timely basis.

2)    You can always spend more than you can make.

3)    You must save money.

4)    Lay out the written details of a Cash Management Plan.

5)    Take baby steps – prioritize your plan and move slowly.

By understanding and viewing everything we have as being owned by God, we can still the cries of the toddlers and hear the praises of men.

Dear Lord, I praise You for all that You have created and provided.  I ask for the discipline to become a better steward of all You have blessed me with so I can be an example to others.  In Your Heavenly Name I pray.  Amen.

Suggested Reading:  Psalm 24, Psalm 50, Financial Peace Revisited by Dave Ramsey

Suggested Websites:  crown.org, daveramsey.com

Sonja Neal

“He who loves money shall never have enough.  The foolishness of thinking that wealth brings happiness!  The more you have, the more you spend, right up to the limits of your income, so what is the advantage of wealth – except perhaps to watch it as it runs through your fingers!”             Ecclesiastes 6:10-10 (Living Bible Paraphrased)

Ever read the bumper sticker that says “He who dies with the most toys wins”?  It’s a mantra many live all their lives.  Unfortunately, what they fail to see is that whoever dies with the most toys is still dead.  And where does that leave them and their toys?

How do we get to the point where we work harder just to get more “toys”?  Part of it is the old “keeping up with the Jones’” mentality.  We have some friends who fit this to a tee.  They would hold lavish parties and cookouts.  And everyone they could think of was invited — even after both of them had lost good paying jobs and their income was cut in half.  My friend confided in me they were dipping into her retirement and savings just to keep up the façade.  After that, I cringed every time we got another invite for a party because I knew all the turmoil that was being caused behind the masquerade.

Many misquote the Bible and say “money is the root of all evil”.  The true Biblical passage comes from 1Timothy 6, verse 10, and reads “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” (NIV)  It clearly states that THE LOVE of money is the problem – not money itself.  In his book Financial Peace Revisited, Dave Ramsey hits it on the head when he states “…money is amoral.  Money has no morals.  That is, it is neither good nor bad.” 

I believe it’s important to finish this passage and to heeds its warning.  The remainder of 1 Timothy 6:10 says “Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many grieves.”  Just like our friends mentioned above, many of us have heard or lived through those grieves caused by the pursuit of money.

What we need to learn is to be content with what we have – what God has given us.  Hebrews 13:5 says ”Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have…” (NIV).  Being content is a hard concept for many to grasp.  Yet, if we allow ourselves to live by this passage and not pine away for what we don’t have, we begin to appreciate the little things.

Contentment changes the pursuit of more “toys” to more life…and there is where the true winners reside.

Father God, You are a God that knows our every need.  You know every hair on our head and all of our desires.  Help us to be content with what You have provided to us and know that it is enough because You have deemed it as such.  In Your Heavenly Name, we pray.  Amen.

Suggested Reading:  Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

Suggested Websites:  crown.org, daveramsey.com

Sonja Neal

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.”  Mark 1:17

 I love my little brother.  Actually, I should say younger brother since he’s a good 6-7” taller than me.  We’ve always had a special bond.  Of my five other siblings, he is the one I’ve never fought with but have generally protected.

 Close to 25 years ago, when I was at one of the lowest points in my life, he is the one who kept me going.  He never knew it – no one did.  At that time, God had told me my brother needed me.  I didn’t understand.  I couldn’t see what I had to offer, but I trusted the feeling and pressed on.  Just within the past month, God revealed to me what He had meant.

 My brother and his wife came to the first services for The Ridge @ Greenville.  I was so excited.  When they both left with Bibles, I cried tears of joy.  It wasn’t until a few weeks later, the truth came out.  My brother had not yet accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.

 I point blank asked him – something I had never done before to anyone.  His answer as “not exactly”.  I let him know that “not exactly” meant “no”.  As the conversation ensued, every reason he gave me I was able to counter with what surely was Holy Spirit-guided answers.

 How did I miss this?  How could I not know one of my family members, raised in the church, had not yet secured his eternal destiny?  I realized too often we just assume our family and friends are saved.  Most will listen to us talk about God and all the blessings we’ve received with a smile and even agree.  But how many truly do not know Him as their Father? 

 What God had pressed on my heart that dark night finally made sense.  My brother did need me.  He needed me to help him through his indecision of knowing Christ or facing an eternity without Him.  I knew more than anything I had to pursue him.

 As our conversation continued, we were laughing as I told him I was not going to get all fire and brimstone on him.  Yet, he needed to know now that I was aware of his indecision; I was not going to let up.  He responded with “many have tried before and all of them gave up”.   And in true sisterly form I said, “ahh yes, but none of them was me”.  His “that’s true” let me know the door was open.  I just needed to find the right way in.

 My brother’s indecision about accepting Christ is huge.  He needs to see how much better life will be with God in his corner.  He needs to see Christ in me – in my life, in my actions, in my words – to help him come to know God as Abba.  I need to trust God to lead me through these new waters and accept this challenge before me.

 Do you know for certain your loved ones are saved?  Have you given up on any that just seem like lost causes or just too much work?  Had God put anyone in your life or on your heart to bring to Him?  And are you sitting on the fence trying to decide if it’s worth the effort? 

 God calls us to be fishers of men.  If He has revealed to you someone in your life as someone who needs to know Him then He is calling you to rise up to the challenge.  We mustn’t sit on the fence of indecision when it comes to pursuing others for God’s kingdom.  We need to be His disciples and follow His lead.

 So, grab a pole and meet me at the pond!

 BIBLE READING:  MARK 1

 Abba Father, I lift my brother and his wife up to You.  You know where their hearts are and how best to reach them.  Soften their hearts and open them to hear Your words.  Give me the wisdom to know what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.  I’m in new waters, Lord, and You are my only lighthouse.  Help me to follow Your lead to bring my family home to You.  I ask You put onto the hearts of my believing brothers and sisters those in their lives that do not know You and help them to pursue those lost ones for Your Kingdom.  In Jesus’ Heavenly Name we pray.  Amen.

 Sonja Neal

“Everyone of us have strayed away like sheep!  We have left God’s paths to follow our own.”  Isaiah 53:6

 On a trip to Reno, Nevada, for a bowling tournament, my husband decided to take a “short-cut” to get us to our destination quicker.  We turned off the highway onto a little dirt road that looked like it would connect us directly to our final leg of the trip.

 As we ventured down this dusty road, we thought it was cool to see an old dog, lounging in the middle of the road, get up and greet us.  The drivers of the pick-up trucks were all so friendly, waving to us, as we drove by.   The further we went the more excited we got thinking we’d be making great time once we reached the next highway.  Then it happened.

The road started closing in on both sides – going down to one lane.  Okay, country roads will do that.  But with each mile, it seemed it was getting smaller and smaller.   I happened to look out the back window and noticed a vulture flying behind us, seeming to circle the car.  Oh, this couldn’t be good.  We laughed nervously about it, but the mood in the car changed.

 It was about this time my husband realized we were heading up a mountain on what appeared to be a horse trail.  Looking down, we saw a huge drop that would not be pleasant for the car, nevertheless for us.   We had to decide if we should venture onward and try to get to the other side of this mountain or carefully back down the trail to the road.  The vulture also seemed to be waiting on our decision.

 Does that ring true of any journey you’ve taken?  You’re cruising down the path God wants you on and everything seems to be going well.  Then you come to a crossroads and you think “Well, I know this way will get me where God needs me to be, but this one will get me there quicker and easier than the one He has me on.”

 So, you choose the other path, and for a while, everything is great and you’re having a good time.  Then, because it’s not a path you’re supposed to be on, things change.  Nothing seems to go right.  The road and vultures (Satan) close in. 

 You’re at another crossroads, where you must choose whether to take your chances on this road or try to get back to God’s path.  The choice can be difficult unless you’re willing to trust God to get you where He needs you to be.

 As we sat there trying to make our decision, I happened to notice something on the map in very tiny print.  It read “Road for Local Use Only.  Hazardous Driving Conditions for Non-Locals.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if those tiny words were printed on a huge sign every time we came to a crossroads so we’d know for certain which path to take?

 Needless to say, we made it out okay.  Silent prayers were put up as my husband slowly backed the car down the mountain to the main road.  And, I’m almost certain I saw a tear in that vulture’s eye.

 Bible Reading:  Proverbs 2

 Heavenly Father, I admit I need You to guide my every step.  For without Your divine guidance, I seem to head in the wrong direction.  As I come to each crossroad in my life, Lord, help me to listen for Your directions and trust in them even when it seems You are taking me the long way to my destination.  For I know with You as my pilot, I will always arrive in due time.  In Jesus’ name we pray.  Amen.

 Sonja Neal

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord … When he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong because the Lord is the one who holds his hand.”        Psalm 37:23-24 (NAS)

Decisions, decisions, decisions.  Every day we have to make tons of them.  Some we do without thinking.  Others we have to give thoughtful consideration.  We try very hard to make all the right choices.  Try as we may, though, we sometimes miss the mark.

I wrote the following in 2004.  I had not thought about it in ages, but for some reason, it came to mind while I was “deciding” what to write about this week.  It felt like I was being led to share it as an antidote to different scenarios of indecision.  (I hope I didn’t miss the target!!)

 It’s not about letting go . . . it’s about letting God

It’s not about running away . . . it’s about running to

It’s not about giving in . . . it’s about lifting it up

It’s not about ending the song . . . it’s about singing a new chorus

It’s not about forgetting . . . it’s about forgiving

It’s not about toughing it out . . . it’s about enduring the race

It’s not about looking out . . . it’s about looking up

It’s not about being strong . . . it’s about finding strength

It’s not about what everyone thinks . . . it’s about what the Bible says

It’s not about what everyone else does . . . it’s about what He would do

It’s not about empty words . . . it’s about His promises

It’s not about the tears cried . . . it’s about the joy He brings

It’s not about a broken heart . . . it’s about a mended soul

It’s not about shattered dreams . . . it’s about a future vision

It’s not about past pain . . . it’s about today’s peace

It’s not about closing down . . . it’s about opening up

It’s not about hurting . . . it’s about healing

It’s not about wishing . . . it’s about praying

It’s not about worrying . . . it’s about believing

It’s not about holding on . . . it’s about the One who hung on the Cross

It’s not about me . . . it’s about God

It’s not about letting go . . . it’s about letting God

As sure as the sun rises and sets each day, we all will come up against something which will stop us in our tracks and force us to choose.  What you choose is your decision.  And as it was so eloquently put during service this weekend – DECIDING NOT TO DECIDE IS A DECISION.

When you are making that choice, whatever it may be, remember to let God in on it.  This is one sure way to never miss the mark!

 Father God, as I go through each day, guide me through the decisions I have to make – from the smallest ones to the life-changing ones.  As it says in Psalm 143, “let the morning bring word of Your unfailing love for I have put my trust in You.  Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul.”  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Sonja Neal

“If you want to know what God really wants you to do, ask Him, and He will gladly tell you, for He is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask Him; but … be sure that you really expect Him to tell you … If you don’t ask in faith, don’t expect the Lord to give you any solid answer.”  James 1:5-6 (LB)

 “I want to go live with my dad my senior year.”

 Such were the words of my almost 18-year old son early in June.  Needless to say, this went over like a lead balloon and set into motion weeks of high-strung emotions and tension.

 His decision was made with thoughtful and prayerful consideration.  His natural father had been absent most of his life, but my son still desired a relationship.  He explained to me he had to try “one more time” to establish a bond so if anything happened to either of them he would know he had done everything he could to know his father.

 I was amazed at his grown-up decision but was far from accepting.  After all, this was his senior year.  Plus, he would be leaving for the Navy next July.  I was supposed to have one more year with him.  This was just not right – I was not ready to let him go – no matter how noble the reason.  I still needed more time.

 Being his legal guardian, I held the key to whether this would go smoothly or not.  My decision would either bring us closer together or further apart – possibly even both.  Family and friends lovingly gave advice, support, and even shared their stories of broken heartedness over parental relationships never repaired.  But I was still in distress over him being 5 hours away and losing the last full year I knew I would ever have with him.

 Prayers and conversations with God started immediately and went something like this…

 “Seriously, God, this is NOT right.  You know everything that has happened in the past.  And HE is going to get rewarded for that?!?

 “You need to let him go.  It will be fine.”

 “No, really, I need more time.  There is so much left for us to do this last year.  Remember with his sister?  I gave her back to you before she graduated and thanked you for the honor.  And now I’ve come this far with my son to watch someone else finish it?  I don’t think so.”

 *sigh* “You have done what I needed you to do.  Now, I need your son to do something for Me.  Let him go.”

 “I can’t, Lord, I just can’t.  It feels like I’m giving into what the world wants.  Maybe it’s not even you talking to me.  That must be it.”

 “It is Me.  You know it’s Me.  Remember King Solomon and the two prostitutes with the baby?”

 It was this reference to 1 Kings 3:16-27 that really convicted me.  Two mothers were fighting over one baby.  No one was giving in as to whose child it was so King Solomon decided to cut the baby in half so each could have part of the baby.  The real mother stepped up and said it was not hers after all – please spare the child’s life.  At that time, King Solomon gave her the child as he then knew who the true mother was.

 “God, I understand now.  And if this is what you’re asking of me – to make one final sacrifice I will.  But, honestly, don’t you think it’s his turn to make some sacrifices?”

 “I’m not asking him.  I’m asking you.  This is your son’s journey.  You must trust Me and let him go.”

 And so, with many tears and a heavy heart, my son left last week to start his senior year at a new school in a different state. 

 Children leaving abruptly, job loss, divorce or separation, even a sudden death all make us wonder why.  So much we needed to say and plans for the future left undone, leave us feeling empty.  There is only One who can fill that hole.  There is only One who can give us peace.  Reach out to God and trust Him completely to fill that hole. 

Father God, please reach out and fill the empty holes in the lives of my brothers and sisters in Christ and mine as well.  Each one has their own struggles they are going through.  Some will let others know about them and ask for help.  While some will never tell a soul, but, You know.  Help us lean not on our own understanding but trust in You with all our heart.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

…Shall we receive only pleasant things from the hand of God and never anything unpleasant?”…   Job 2:10

“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to.  You would cry to if it happened to you”.  Remember that old song?  It reminds me of all the pity parties I’ve ever thrown and was the only one to attend.

Or how about “they always, always pick on me.  They never ever let me be.  I’ll eat some worms and then I’ll die and they’ll all be sorry that they picked on me”.  I used to sing this Tiny Tim song growing up.  I will confess though I never got brave enough to eat those worms.

Both songs remind us it is very easy to get in a mode of “whoa is me” or “my life is just so awful”.  And sometimes, it is a lot harder to leave those modes once you get there.  It’s okay to take some time to sort it out when all that is happening in your life seems to be turmoil and grief.  It’s even okay to question why.  The problems arise when you start to climb out of that mode and think “hmm, do I really want to move on or should I stay here a little longer?”  It’s the indecision of trusting God to provide all your needs which keeps you there.

Let’s take a look at Job.  If EVER there was a guy that should’ve had a world-class pity party it was him.  He had everything going for him and was in God’s favor.  Yet, within a few days, *poof* he lost everything – his cattle, his servants, his children, his health.  And, man, was he EVER confused and definitely wondered what he had done to deserve all that was happening.

On top of this, Job’s friends came to “comfort” him and ended up accusing and condemning him as a sinner and a liar.  So here was Job, in the midst of mind-blowing circumstances, and now, he had to justify his momentary outburst.   Over and over again, he had to profess his faithfulness to God in front of his friends, and they weren’t buying it. 

God did, as He always does, come through in the end.  Job’s friends were put in their place by God.  And Job, well, he got an earful as well.  But God, being just, restored to him all he had taken.  In fact, he doubled it as a reward for Job’s faithfulness. 

So, when you get invited to your next pity party go ahead and attend for a moment or two.  Ask why.  Listen for the answer.  It may not come right away or even at all.  But, make the decision to put your faith in God that it is all happening for His Glory and it will turn out as He has planned.  This will definitely make you the life of the party.

Let’s pray…Heavenly Father, I confess it is so easy to take all that is going on in my life and feel sorry for myself.  I ask your forgiveness for those times when I just sit on the fence of focusing on me or completely trusting You.  Help me in those times trust You as I never have before so I can move forward with my life.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Sonja Neal