Digging Deeper

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” -Ephesians 5:31

Many couples suffer from the consequences of their early promiscuity. The “sexual freedom” of our time isn’t free and usually carries some pretty heavy costs. There’s the potential for diseases that could be passed on even leading to death. There’s the growing number of pregnancies out of marriage, now at 40% in the U.S.

There are also numerous issues to deal with already when starting a relationship without throwing sex or past sexual relations into the mix. It seems people think nothing of having sex on a first, second or third date any more. Couples who confine sex to their marriage partners face danger from disease. Further, we can safely conclude that abstinence does not impair one’s health. Sociologist Robert Bell quips, “There appear to be no records of males hospitalized because girls refused to provide sexual outlets.”

Of course there’s always the old argument “but I love him/her”. Then why not respect that love and nurture it? The time will come when that love comes to fruition through a courtship, proposal and marriage. It’s like the Tootsie Pop. You’ve got this treat in the center, the delicious surprise that you get to enjoy after you have worked your way through the layers on the outside. Of course you can just crunch your way to the center but then the experience is done and over with and you may have chipped a tooth in the process. Believe me, I’ve been through both and the crown I received on my tooth from crunching my way through life was not nearly as painful as the irreparable damage to the friendships, relationships and my marriage. You get to the “prize” but not the way the creators of the Tootsie Pop intended. Also, not the way our Creator intended.

This is why God set up these boundaries. He wants you to work through the layers of a relationship first. And those layers are so important. Just getting to know each other, meeting each others friends, learning likes and dislikes, the dreaded “meeting the parents”, the wedding. This can all be such an amazing and enjoyable journey and through obedience and patience you then receive the reward. Or you may discover you didn’t like this flavor and that’s ok too. But once you <crunch> then you’ve gone too far.

Lord, thank you for creating man and woman. Thank you for giving us our differences and for designing us to become “one flesh”. Father, guide us and lead us in our relationships now and forever…

- Rick Phillips